I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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