Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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