Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
