She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
