Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
