When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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