She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize