I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
