At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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