I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
