i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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