I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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