I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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