the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
