WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
