I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think people are normalizing furries
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
