This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize