My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
