It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
