Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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