Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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