If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
