no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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