At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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