We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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