I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
