oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
