glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
