How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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