Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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