Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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