apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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