I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
