No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
