Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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