Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
