you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Send help, water and tortillas.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
