when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
