He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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