She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
