Kareoke will never be a sober sport
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I didn't notice because vodka
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
