My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
