this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
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had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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