His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
