Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
