Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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