so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
