they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
