You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
