i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
be right there i have to get my cape
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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