You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
