Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
