Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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