fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
