We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
