Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
