I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
