I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
