i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
