Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
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its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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