just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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